Don't be remembered as the mouthy parent

As I watched some of the quality basketball matchups the William Jewell Classic offered a couple weeks ago, one thing I started to think about as I listened to the cheers and reactions from the crowd was the critical role players’ parents play in high school. For those of us who were active in high school activities back in the day, it seemed like we never fully appreciated their positive efforts whether it was the post-game snacks, booster club participation, or even the simple encouragement they gave us.

While the positive efforts of some parents sometimes don’t get the recognition they deserve, it’s usually hard to forget the negative actions of the few who go over the top. As we watched the games progress, a couple friends of mine started noticing a parent or two whose vocal expression leaned negative and was approaching slightly annoying. This led our discussion back to the one or two parents who acted in the same manner back when we were the ones playing on the court. I’m sure most of you can remember something similar or can at least spot out a parent that fits the mold at any sporting event. The ones who ridicule the referees beyond reason, criticize the coach for game management, and comment on anything else that might not present their optimal result. My main point is that these people may not even recognize their behavior as negative or inappropriate, but make the experience unpleasant for everyone else. Sometimes the odd glances or slight head shakes pointed their way never quite send the intended message.

I was lucky to have parents who were at every game, clapped in encouragement, and never felt it was their responsibility to tell me their opinions of the referees, my coaches, or my teammates. I always knew they were there when I looked up, but I never had to listen to their complaints during the game. Any parent thinking their role is different, isn’t only embarrassing themselves, but they’re sending the wrong message to their kids. It sends a message that a player doesn’t have to listen to a coach because a parent has already criticized their leadership; a player shouldn’t respect a referee because every time a foul is called (or isn’t called) it’s received with another sarcastic comment; and every time a player makes a mistake it’s alright to have a bad attitude because it was a factor outside of themselves which caused it to happen.

Are all of these actions directly related to a parent’s actions at a sporting event? No, a lot of it comes naturally in some sports with adrenaline, competition, and spectator interaction, but in high school it should be the right kind of interaction, positive. In the end the thing you may want to ask yourself is this; do you want to be the person your child’s friends talk about years after their playing days are over because of your negative presence at a sporting event?