As I watched some of the quality basketball matchups the William Jewell Classic offered a couple weeks ago, one thing I started to think about as I listened to the cheers and reactions from the crowd was the critical role players’ parents play in high school. For those of us who were active in high school activities back in the day, it seemed like we never fully appreciated their positive efforts whether it was the post-game snacks, booster club participation, or even the simple encouragement they gave us.
While the positive efforts of some parents sometimes don’t get the recognition they deserve, it’s usually hard to forget the negative actions of the few who go over the top. As we watched the games progress, a couple friends of mine started noticing a parent or two whose vocal expression leaned negative and was approaching slightly annoying. This led our discussion back to the one or two parents who acted in the same manner back when we were the ones playing on the court. I’m sure most of you can remember something similar or can at least spot out a parent that fits the mold at any sporting event. The ones who ridicule the referees beyond reason, criticize the coach for game management, and comment on anything else that might not present their optimal result. My main point is that these people may not even recognize their behavior as negative or inappropriate, but make the experience unpleasant for everyone else. Sometimes the odd glances or slight head shakes pointed their way never quite send the intended message.
I was lucky to have parents who were at every game, clapped in encouragement, and never felt it was their responsibility to tell me their opinions of the referees, my coaches, or my teammates. I always knew they were there when I looked up, but I never had to listen to their complaints during the game. Any parent thinking their role is different, isn’t only embarrassing themselves, but they’re sending the wrong message to their kids. It sends a message that a player doesn’t have to listen to a coach because a parent has already criticized their leadership; a player shouldn’t respect a referee because every time a foul is called (or isn’t called) it’s received with another sarcastic comment; and every time a player makes a mistake it’s alright to have a bad attitude because it was a factor outside of themselves which caused it to happen.
Are all of these actions directly related to a parent’s actions at a sporting event? No, a lot of it comes naturally in some sports with adrenaline, competition, and spectator interaction, but in high school it should be the right kind of interaction, positive. In the end the thing you may want to ask yourself is this; do you want to be the person your child’s friends talk about years after their playing days are over because of your negative presence at a sporting event?
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Darren, an avid athlete, had previously finished his junior basketball season by receiving team awards for his high three-point shooting percentage and the team leadership award for his outstanding character and attitude. Knowing about his love for the game, parents and friends decided to name a scholarship fund in his memory. Not only would they start the scholarship, but they would fund it by putting together an exhibition basketball game featuring former players in a friendly hoops game. The first game was held in January of 2005 and a crowd usually un-seen at regular varsity games filled the gymnasium in an outpouring of support. Thousands of dollars would be raised over the next three years; eventually it was enough to officially endow the Darren Floyd Memorial Scholarship with the Park Hill Education Foundation and an additional scholarship to be awarded to a graduating member of the boy’s basketball team for college. In 2007, Darren’s #14 was retired by the program and remains the only basketball player to have had that privilege.
After the scholarship had been endowed and Darren’s number retired, there were some who thought there wasn’t a need to continue the game as an annual event. What they hadn’t realized though, is the game in and of itself had become something meaningful in ways the inaugural organizers had not envisioned. It was something former players started to look forward to each year. As it tends to be the case with high school, some alumni didn’t have any other reason to come back, but would for a worthy cause. For recent graduates, it was something they had come to expect to participate in as new alumni. Even those who weren’t familiar with the original circumstances or the person for which the game is named would have at least one thing in common, a love for the game. With the demand so high, a new energized group of current basketball parents and friends put forward their time to make sure the alumni game stayed alive along with the different symbolic meanings it had for each person involved.
With that in mind, one of the only events of its kind in the area is set to tip-off again this Saturday. The fifth annual game features the largest contingent of returning alumni players yet. The game will once again be a reminder of how fragile life is, but also how positive things can result from the most tragic of circumstances. It wouldn’t be able to happen if five years ago a committed group of people didn’t try to do the right thing and bring a community in mourning together. The feeling those in the gym on Saturday night will experience can be credited to Darren because of the 17 years of life he lived and also a reflection on us in the previous five years he’s been absent.